Friday, April 25, 2008

Whatcha Say, Sonny?

I was feeling pretty good about getting through my whole first week back at work. I did it without caffeine. I did it on four hours of sleep a night. I did it without crying...much. Everyone is still alive at home. We've eaten a lot of leftovers and some frozen pizzas, but we're still alive the kids are happy as far as we can tell.

So I was checking up on some insurance coverage details and came across some of the details of my recent claims, like Dos' birth. That's when I saw the words "Elderly Multigravida" next to my name. Dear Google, what is this interesting term and WHY is it being applied to me? "Elderly multigravida. Second or more pregnancy in a woman who will be 35 years of age or older at expected date of delivery." Well, yeah. That WOULD be me, wouldn't it?

Elderly. I'm elderly. I'm 39 years old and ELDERLY.

I feel a sudden need to wear pink polyester pants with an elastic waist, a flowery shirt, squishy shoes and go to Shoney's for the early bird special.

Didja hear me, sonny? I'm elllllllllllderlllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy.

6 comments:

ingrid said...

you aren't elderly. silly hospital identifiers. besides, if you are elderly so am i. i reject that notion. i replace it with thoughts of eternal youth. ;)

pixiecampbell said...

Searching google for the same new title I'm wearing after my appointment today, I staggered into your blog. At 37, we should start a club!
"Elderly multigravida, supervision of high risk pregnancy." The only risk to my 20 week pregnancy is eating all of my son's Halloween candy!
Glad to meet you...

Mary said...

I laughed and was comforted as I read your post. I am scheduling a level 2 sonogram today and when I saw those words next to my name, sudden panic struck me. "Oh they didn't have the heart to tell me something at the doctors...." Can you feel me? I am 40 and pregnant with my second child. It's crazy how much the medical professionals scare the living sh-t out of you in this scenario. Thanks for sharing the humor. I ran to good 'ol Google too. TGFG!

Heather said...

Mary - Congratulations! I'm laughing because I would have had the same reaction. Concerned, scared, googling, daaaaang.

Pixiecampbell - Glad to meet you, too. There are more of us "elderly" mamas than I thought! Congratulations to you, too!

Anonymous said...

This is hillarious! I just did the same as the rest of you, looking at my medical claim info online, seeing this term and googling right away. SOunds like grandmothers giving birth :) Im 39 and gave birth to my third boy in October.... With no incident for an old lady!

sknlikeporcelain said...

OMG! Is my reaction to that title.
I thought it was a typo.
I went to genetic counseling and had to look up that mess of a title all on the same day. Not the best way to treat the "elderly" if you ask me. As far as I'm concerned, my eggs are elderly... NOT ME!