Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Back to Reality

If you've noticed the sudden increase in the number and frequency of postings here, that's because I took the last week off of work. It's amazing what a little extra sleep can do for one's mood and creativity.

Being a stay-at-home Mom, even for a week is damn hard. I don't necessarily envy anyone who gets to do this full-time. That doesn't mean I wouldn't want to actually do it myself. I think I'd need some outlets, though. The blog for creativity and a place to vent, a group of friends to go out with occasionally and play trivia or see a movie, have snacks and talk, whatever and maybe a class or something to give me deadlines and challenges that I'd have to meet on a regular basis.

For all the heavy sighing, temple rubbing, teeth clenching and "deargodgivemestrength" muttering I did this week, I'm going to miss being able to do all of that well-rested. Sleep and rest make a tough job like parenting a little bit easier. I think wine and chocolate probably help, too.

It's funny: I'll still be here all day with the girls, pretty much like I was over the past week. The difference will be that I won't be here in the mornings with Grinch or on the weekends. It's a big difference somehow. I miss my husband. I miss my best friend.

I get some more time off during Christmas week and I'm really looking forward to it. The knowledge that good times and a little extra sleep are coming my way will help make tomorrow's 1:30am wakeup call a little bit easier.

And you? Thanks for continuing to read this blog. It's not much. It's just my little corner of the internet to prattle on a bit. But I'm glad you stop by. Leave a comment and say "hi", won't you?

Monday, December 8, 2008

This is a Message from Mom Corleone!

No more half eaten snacks! No more fussing and cussing about naps and baths and playing with your sister! No more going boneless when I try to hold your hand to cross the street! Do as Mommy says!

....or you sleep with the goldfishessssssssssss........

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Parents Do the Darndest Things

"Mommymommymommymommy! I found my snowshoe hare mask!"
"Great, darlin'! Want to put it on?"
"No, I want YOU to put it on. That would be so funny."
"Ok!" (tie tie tie)

"HAhahahahaha! Mommy, that is so silly! Let's hop like bunnies!"

"Ok! " (hop, hop, hop all around the house)


"Come on, Do-si-do. You can hop with meeeeeeeWOOH! You need a fresh diaper. Come on, let's change that." (change, change, change the diaper)
"Mommy, I'm hungry."

"Ok, let's get a snack." (snack, snack, snack)


"Poor hungry baby." (nurse, nurse, nurse)

"Mommy! Play with ME!"

"Ok, ok!" (play, play, play, dance, dance, dance)

::DING, DONG!:::

"Oh, hi UPS man! Package for me? Great!"

"You must be really busy these days, huh? You look pretty happy about it. What's so funny?"

"Why yes, we have been playing rabbit. How'd you kno-...ohmygod. Excuse me."

So now, along with my dignity, UPS has a release to leave all packages on my doorstep without a signature.
You're welcome.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I Don't Do Math Without A Net

I have a liberal arts degree. I have the actual diploma, beautifully framed and hiding in a closet somewhere. Come visit, bring me a piece of your favorite cake and I'll show it to you.

Liberal arts majors, if you didn't know, are notoriously bad at math. It's why shirts like this exist.

I am no exception to this stereotype. Lacking a mathmatical mind and patient teachers, I made it all the way through college counting on my fingers. God, that's embarrassing to admit.

Grinch, who is quite mathmatically inclined, got so frustrated with my finger counting one day, he swatted my hands down and said, "Stop it! You CAN do this in YOUR HEAD. Do it." So I did. I'm pretty slow and I can't do math in front of a crowd, but I no longer look like I'm doing sign language while I try to figure out the tip for a $34 dinner bill.

So this is a leap for me, but it's important. You need to know this. This is important to the future of all potential iphone owners everywhere. Quite possibly, the future of Apple Computers itself relies on this.

I'm working on the following formula:

X x Y = Z

X equals the number of times you drop your cell phone
And Y equals the number of times your partner SEES you drop your cell phone
Z equals the odds that your partner will buy you an iphone for Christmas and it is ALWAYS a negative number.

It is terribly simple and there are other variables I need to include, like the actual price of an iphone, the amount of time you will spend Twittering on your iphone instead of paying attention to your partner. So I've gotten you off to a good start, internet. Let's get to work on this. (I'm lookin atchoo Eli and Wolfgang.)